Why Won't They Trust Me?

I was just thinking about our VBS and feeling kind of sad because we had some kids who have such potential and yet they are just more interested in doing whatever they want. I was thinking and praying about how frustrating it is to try to help someone who doesn't want to be helped. I keep thinking that I do know what is better for them and they should just trust me.

And then God hit me upside the head and said, "Are you listening to yourself? What do you think I've been yelling at you forever?"

There was a particular time in my life where I prayed and prayed for God to do something, something good that I know would have been the right thing. And he said NO! There was no question that he said no and the time passed with him not changing his mind. And I am still a little bitter over the fact that he didn't do what I wanted. I was just telling him this morning that I didn't know why he didn't do what I wanted; I know it was a good thing. Can you imagine me telling him that?

And he just said to me, "I know what's good for you. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me." So here I am, trusting him, finally, over 8 years later and KNOWING and BELIEVING that he does know best.

It feels so good to trust someone who is totally faithful. It also feels good to know that I tried to help some kids and I'll try again and again and I'll pray but the rest is up to God. Thank goodness He can do anything.

Our Busy Summer

It's been a long time but summer is so busy. I feel like I don't have a moment to spare. If I'm not playing with the kids, or cleaning up the messes we make, then I am working or trying to figure out how to keep the kids busy.

Last week, we had Bible school at my in-laws church and had swim lessons for Mr T. This week we have Bible school at our church and swim lessons for both my kids. Not only are both my kids taking swim lessons, their 4 cousins are too. And somehow I am the person with the most time so I'm the elected to take them. My mother-in-law has been helping take but she doesn't get in the water will ALL SIX KIDS at the end so they can swim for fun for a little while. What a job!!!! Did I say ALL SIX KIDS? I have to keep up with ALL SIX KIDS in water. Most of the cousins can't swim enough that you can take your eyes off them. Talk about stress. The best part is that for half an hour, I get to sit in the sun and just soak it all in. Heaven!!! I feel more human after I've had my time in the sun. It all quickly fades after watching ALL SIX KIDS. :)

The Fog is Lifting

For the first time in 2 months, I feel like I am going to make it. I feel like the sun will shine again. It's been a hard time and I can't even begin to tell you what's been wrong; it's just been hard. Ever have a time when life is just plain hard and there's no other to describe it? Well, I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Here's one of the ways I know it's getting better. With all that I have been dealing with, I would still do it all over again because I have learned so much. I am so proud of myself for coming through this time relying on God and not myself, and for actually going through something tough with the mindset to learn something and not just lay around and complain. I am proud of how things have gone. I would do it again.

My daughter's softball team is in the playoff game tomorrow night, which has been fun and exciting. I am learning that she is braver than I am. If there is something I struggle at doing, I'd rather just not do it and never let anyone know that I struggle at something. She gets out there, does her best and is extremely happy and proud of herself at the end. Two games ago, she got a triple and got on base 3 out of 4 times. That never would have happened had she hid out like I do. I am so proud of her and her strength.

Tonight my daughter gets an award for completing her book by learning all her verses. She worked really hard and I am proud of her for sticking with it.

I know I wrote about work a few days ago. God totally worked that out. I was talking to a co-worker about coming back to work more hours and in the fall. When she mentioned that to my old boss, who is her boss, he said, "We've been waiting for Mr. T to go to kindergarten FOREVER." It warmed my heart because it felt so good to know that someone has been waiting for me to come back to work, to know that they value me as a person and an employee. They truly are the most flexible and awesome company to work for. Everything I have ever asked for, they have worked to make it happen. How nice to know that someone wants you and thinks you do a good job. I don't think we say that to each enough.

Another Simple Question

My son just came into my office, pulling on his hair.

He asked me, "What color in my hair?"

And I replied, "Blonde; it's a beautiful color sweetie."

He said, pulling even harder, "But I want to see it."

I simply suggested he try a mirror.

And he replied, "Oh," in a tone of voice that implied, "I never thought of that."

A Long Time

It's been a long time, and the only reason I have is that I haven't felt like posting anything. It's been a tough month. We are busy finishing up everything, from school to gymnastics, to softball, to preschool. Last night was Mr T's graduation from preschool, and he was so grown up. I am slightly dreading the fall when kindergaren comes, but I am DETERMINED to get every fun moment out of this summer possible.

Mr T recently began to tell me about a little preschool friend who gets to eat ice cream for breakfast every morning. He wanted to know why he wasn't so lucky. He lamented, "All I ever gets is muffins, and biscuits, and cereal." Poor little guy.

Miss A has a softball tournament this weekend, and I am looking forward to that being over. It's takes a lot of time, and I think we've had 3 games all season where it's been warm enough to watch her play without huddling under a blanket. Who could have imagined that May would still be cold? So much for all that sun I was hoping to get. Miss A also got promoted to the next gymnastics class. She couldn't care a bit, but I'm excited and proud of her. Gymnastics is so much fun, and she just loves running around and working off some of her extra energy.

I am praying about what I'll do in the fall with both kids in school. I told my hubby that I am going to start listing the things I CAN'T do rather than looking at the one of 2 things I can do. The things I can't do include: preschool PE teacher, art teacher, receptionist (I hate to talk on the phone)...the list could go on and on. I'm hoping to pick up more work from the office I work for already but we'll see. That still leaves me working from home and provides me even less opportunity to get out of the house. Oh well.

The Mouse in the House

I know it's been forever since I've posted anything. It's been a long month, and I just haven't had it in me to post anything. Things are starting to look up finally, but not before I thought I was going to lose my mind. This past week, I found a half eaten piece of candy in my daughter's cubby, and when I questioned my hubby, he remarked that it could NOT be a mouse because the mouse would have eaten the whole thing. I blindly and totally believed him. First mistake.

The next morning, I saw something furry and brown run out of our utility room and KNEW we had a mouse. I got the kids off to school and spent an hour sitting on my bed, wondering how I could out the door without seeing the intruder again. My husband set some traps, but I really wanted to see brooms flying and serious searching going on. No way was my hubby gonna do that.

That night, after clapping and saying "shoo" every time I entered a room, my hubby and I set traps all around the house with Starbursts on them because that was the kind of half eaten piece of candy I had found. To catch a mouse, you gotta think like a mouse, right? At 11:00 p.m., we heard a trap go off, and we had our mouse. I still have traps set just to make sure there isn't a "sibling to the mouse" still lurking about, but there has been no more evidence of any mice.

Who knew such a tiny creature could me into such a panic mode. :) My son prayed at lunch thanking God for our food and that He would "kill the mouse." He got a loud "Amen" from me.

April Fools Day?

It's been forever, but I have been SWAMPED with work. It was the kind of job where it just consumes me, and I can't do anything but think about it. So, I have been kind of holed away in my office for a week or two.

I just signed my little man up for Kindergarten. I was ok until they pulled out his birth certificate. And I realized that it was just yesterday when this wonderful person was all mine. In the beginning, I didn't have to share him with anyone and now, just 5 years later, I am about to have to give him up for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. And to be honest, it stinks. I hate it. (Here is where Mr T would pipe up, "Mommy, you said a bad word. Hate is a bad word.") No, it's not if it says what I really need it to say and I do hate it. I hate it.

I remember holding him for the first time and staring into that beautiful face. I remember everybody being asleep, and I got to feed Mr T and snuggle with him all by myself. I remember how he never cried really; he'd just start wiggling and grunting and I could feed him or change him and he would be happy. He was the best baby. I prayed and prayed that I would not be so hormonal with Mr T and God heard my prayer. We had so much fun together. And no one says that kindergarten is going to stop those fun times. They'll just change, and in case you haven't noticed, change is hard for me.

Have a wonderful April 1st.