I had a post written complaining about my day and the obstacles in it. But before I posted it, I did my Bible study and I was totally convicted by what I read. I was studying about the Israelites and the spies who went to scout out the land the Lord had promised them. Most of the spies saw the bounty of the land but also the giants they would have to fight. Only two spies remembered that God had promised them that land.
And I was reminded that I know my family is where God wants us. And there are giants that we are facing, but God is good and he's going to give us what he has promised. He's going to watch over us and lead us where he wants us to go. So, for today, I will follow and try to rest in his arms.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Another Day Here
Day 4, and it's getting easier. Mr. T keeps telling me every morning that he does not want to go, he's scared, and he just wants me to teach him at home. I think that'll be the norm for awhile. I'll just have to toughen up.
I heard the funniest thing from my niece this morning. My sister-in-law and I carpool the kids to school, and it was my morning to take. I love driving them all to school because I get to "eavesdrop" on their conversations. This morning my niece was complaining because she had not been able to get much homework done after school yesterday at my mother in law's house. It seems she was talking too much so my MIL moved her to a bedroom so she could be by herself. I heard my niece say, "There were 2 mirrors in there and everyone who knows me knows that if I see a mirror I HAVE to look at myself. I HAVE to. I can't help it." She has a flare for the dramatic.
I heard the funniest thing from my niece this morning. My sister-in-law and I carpool the kids to school, and it was my morning to take. I love driving them all to school because I get to "eavesdrop" on their conversations. This morning my niece was complaining because she had not been able to get much homework done after school yesterday at my mother in law's house. It seems she was talking too much so my MIL moved her to a bedroom so she could be by herself. I heard my niece say, "There were 2 mirrors in there and everyone who knows me knows that if I see a mirror I HAVE to look at myself. I HAVE to. I can't help it." She has a flare for the dramatic.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
2 Days Down
Shooo-weeee. What a crazy couple of days. Yesterady, I picked up my babies from school as they stepped off the daycare van, and Mr T looked like he was in shock. There were no smiles and he had little to say. He said that recess was no fun because he hadn't gotten swing and the slide was too hot. His teacher made him throw away his special note from me at lunch because it was on his napkin. Needless to say, last night, I was a bit disturbed about how school was going.
This morning he said that he didn't want to go and wanted to know when would he get used to this school thing. I was beside myself. I spent alot of time praying and trying not to completely melt down. I had promised my hubby's grandmother that I would join the card-playing-ladies for lunch. I walked in and had to walk back out because I didn't know if I could make it. But I went back in and let me tell you, there were like medicine to my broken heart. They all said they knew exactly how I felt and even shared their kids' and grandkids' funny first day of school stories. They even had tears in their eyes. It was so sweet. Imagine getting 6 sweet grandmas to love on you all at once. I don't mean this ugly but so many women my age seem almost glad that their kids are in school so I end up feeling like I'm slightly off my rocker for being beside myself with grief.
Well, I go to pick up my kids today and Mr T comes off the bus smiling and introduces me to another little girl who is in his class and rides the same bus. He was chatty and when I asked about PE, he got really excited and said it was fun. He was so excited about his "notebook binder" he brought home. I didn't ask him too many questions because I figured he will tell me what he needs me to know but he did seem happier, much happier.
So, for now, my heart is ok. I think tonight I won't have to cry myself to sleep. And I'll keep reminding myself, 2 days down, 178 to go. :) That's not completely true. I have been telling myself that all I have to do is make it through today. I don't have to worry about how I'll make it through the year. All I have to do is get through this very minute. Somehow that makes things much more manageable.
By the way, Miss A is in heaven. Her teacher gives them alot of free time to read and her only homework is to read. She is so happy to be there, and nothing seems to really upset her. She is happy, unbelieveably happy. What a relief. I am praying that a friend of Miss A's in another class gets to be in Miss A's "gifted" class. They won't announce that for a week or so but it sure would help to have the friend there because Miss A doesn't have the teacher she has last year for this special class. And we love that teacher. So, maybe.
Well, don't read this and wonder about me. I am doing fine. I'm a bit lost with no work to do. Floundering might be more like it. I have cleaned my shower so that it looks brand new; I've run all my errands; and I've gone to the church to clean up a supply closet. Tomorrow I think I might actually try to exercise. I really do need to get a job. :)
This morning he said that he didn't want to go and wanted to know when would he get used to this school thing. I was beside myself. I spent alot of time praying and trying not to completely melt down. I had promised my hubby's grandmother that I would join the card-playing-ladies for lunch. I walked in and had to walk back out because I didn't know if I could make it. But I went back in and let me tell you, there were like medicine to my broken heart. They all said they knew exactly how I felt and even shared their kids' and grandkids' funny first day of school stories. They even had tears in their eyes. It was so sweet. Imagine getting 6 sweet grandmas to love on you all at once. I don't mean this ugly but so many women my age seem almost glad that their kids are in school so I end up feeling like I'm slightly off my rocker for being beside myself with grief.
Well, I go to pick up my kids today and Mr T comes off the bus smiling and introduces me to another little girl who is in his class and rides the same bus. He was chatty and when I asked about PE, he got really excited and said it was fun. He was so excited about his "notebook binder" he brought home. I didn't ask him too many questions because I figured he will tell me what he needs me to know but he did seem happier, much happier.
So, for now, my heart is ok. I think tonight I won't have to cry myself to sleep. And I'll keep reminding myself, 2 days down, 178 to go. :) That's not completely true. I have been telling myself that all I have to do is make it through today. I don't have to worry about how I'll make it through the year. All I have to do is get through this very minute. Somehow that makes things much more manageable.
By the way, Miss A is in heaven. Her teacher gives them alot of free time to read and her only homework is to read. She is so happy to be there, and nothing seems to really upset her. She is happy, unbelieveably happy. What a relief. I am praying that a friend of Miss A's in another class gets to be in Miss A's "gifted" class. They won't announce that for a week or so but it sure would help to have the friend there because Miss A doesn't have the teacher she has last year for this special class. And we love that teacher. So, maybe.
Well, don't read this and wonder about me. I am doing fine. I'm a bit lost with no work to do. Floundering might be more like it. I have cleaned my shower so that it looks brand new; I've run all my errands; and I've gone to the church to clean up a supply closet. Tomorrow I think I might actually try to exercise. I really do need to get a job. :)
Monday, August 11, 2008
Random Thoughts
My babies are at school. Mr T starts kindergarten today and Miss A is in 3rd grade now. We managed to get everybody out the door with everyone still smiling. I managed to keep the tears in check until my hubby drove out the driveway. I have never wanted to chase a car down so badly. I kept thinking, "Why do I have to do something I don't want to do? Whose brilliant idea was this anyways?"
Yesterday at church, everything seemed to be about following God even we don't want to do it. We studied Jonah and I kept telling the kids in my class that sometimes we have to do things God wants us to do even if we don't want to. Um, I hear yeah God. I get it. I know that today my kids are where they are supposed to be. God won't give them or me anything to do that he won't give us the strength to do. And he will be with them every step of the way. So, I'll try to chill out and rest in Him.
Last night as I was washing Mr T's hair, he starts to sing "Since Jesus Came Into My Heart." We both were singing it at the top of our lungs. And God whispered to my heart that he hears my tears and my fears, and He is in control and He is going to protect my child. If my kids go through yucky stuff, it's because he is going to teach them something awesome. He will be with them.
So, enough about kids. I HAVE TO FIND A JOB. :) My hubby thinks I'm just gonna lay around and be a bum so I've got to find a job so I can say I worked. I need an excuse to not have the house clean and dinner on the table every night. :)
Oh yeah, thank you God for sweet friends who call to make sure I'm ok. :) I'm off now to begin my list. I've been putting stuff off for weeks so I have a list that should carry me through the week. I'm going to my in-laws house to clean out my hubby's old closet. Fun, huh? I am sure it's full of "World's Best Son" trophies.
Yesterday at church, everything seemed to be about following God even we don't want to do it. We studied Jonah and I kept telling the kids in my class that sometimes we have to do things God wants us to do even if we don't want to. Um, I hear yeah God. I get it. I know that today my kids are where they are supposed to be. God won't give them or me anything to do that he won't give us the strength to do. And he will be with them every step of the way. So, I'll try to chill out and rest in Him.
Last night as I was washing Mr T's hair, he starts to sing "Since Jesus Came Into My Heart." We both were singing it at the top of our lungs. And God whispered to my heart that he hears my tears and my fears, and He is in control and He is going to protect my child. If my kids go through yucky stuff, it's because he is going to teach them something awesome. He will be with them.
So, enough about kids. I HAVE TO FIND A JOB. :) My hubby thinks I'm just gonna lay around and be a bum so I've got to find a job so I can say I worked. I need an excuse to not have the house clean and dinner on the table every night. :)
Oh yeah, thank you God for sweet friends who call to make sure I'm ok. :) I'm off now to begin my list. I've been putting stuff off for weeks so I have a list that should carry me through the week. I'm going to my in-laws house to clean out my hubby's old closet. Fun, huh? I am sure it's full of "World's Best Son" trophies.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Just a Note to Catch You Up
It's been awhile since I've posted. The main reason is that we have been crazy busy travelling and trying to squeeze the most fun out of our last few days of summer. We've been to 10 days of camping out for camp meeting, a week at the beach, and weekend at church camp. In between all those trips, I have been busy doing all the "life" stuff like paying bills, returning phone calls, washing clothes, etc. Needless to say, there has not been a spare minute.
We go tonight to meet the kids' teachers. Miss A's teacher called to welcome her and it turns out she's the mother of a girl in Miss A's 1st grade class. So we already know her, which relieves Miss A from all the "unknown" worry. Thank you Jesus. Mr T's teacher called and left us a sweet message. By her voice, she sounds really sweet.
I have not yet been overcome with fear about this new school year. Normally, I'm almost paralyzed with fear and grief over the coming school year but not this year. Miss A is ready to go so that makes her easier to send. Mr T is such a fun person that I'm mostly sure that he'll adapt well. I know it'll be miserable when they start school but for now, I'm doing ok. It's a peace I don't understand.
I realized this morning that for the past 8 years, I've had a little one by my side ALL day long, and it's going to take some getting used to being on my own. I am trying to tell myself that it'll take months to adjust, but that I will like it eventually. I also keep telling myself that this is a baby step toward setting my kids free. My job is to teach them to stand on their own and I'm trying. I also don't think about how fast they are growing and how fast my time with them will be over. I don't think about that. I just DON'T THINK ABOUT THAT. :)
My job that pays me has fallen through due to the slow economy so I really have no idea what I'll be doing when school starts. I have a list that should last a week. After that, I might be finding the want ads and looking for a job. :) Any suggestions?
Have a great day and pray for us if you think of us over the next week.
We go tonight to meet the kids' teachers. Miss A's teacher called to welcome her and it turns out she's the mother of a girl in Miss A's 1st grade class. So we already know her, which relieves Miss A from all the "unknown" worry. Thank you Jesus. Mr T's teacher called and left us a sweet message. By her voice, she sounds really sweet.
I have not yet been overcome with fear about this new school year. Normally, I'm almost paralyzed with fear and grief over the coming school year but not this year. Miss A is ready to go so that makes her easier to send. Mr T is such a fun person that I'm mostly sure that he'll adapt well. I know it'll be miserable when they start school but for now, I'm doing ok. It's a peace I don't understand.
I realized this morning that for the past 8 years, I've had a little one by my side ALL day long, and it's going to take some getting used to being on my own. I am trying to tell myself that it'll take months to adjust, but that I will like it eventually. I also keep telling myself that this is a baby step toward setting my kids free. My job is to teach them to stand on their own and I'm trying. I also don't think about how fast they are growing and how fast my time with them will be over. I don't think about that. I just DON'T THINK ABOUT THAT. :)
My job that pays me has fallen through due to the slow economy so I really have no idea what I'll be doing when school starts. I have a list that should last a week. After that, I might be finding the want ads and looking for a job. :) Any suggestions?
Have a great day and pray for us if you think of us over the next week.
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